Dance in the Dark

I am a fat girl, almost always have been one. And as a result of my fatness I have often been a victim of body shaming. Naturally I'm against body shaming in general. Phrases like "Real men like curves, only dogs go for bones" sound like a really witty comeback to people who go around giving free unwanted advice on how to lose weight. However, I do not think such statements are cool because those are forms of body shaming too!

Fat-shaming is wrong but that doesn't mean that thin-shaming can rectify it. If you believe that every body type is beautiful, then it is extremely hypocritical if you start calling thin people "skinny" or compare them to bones! "Real women have curves" - I mean how ridiculous is that? A curvy woman has curves, period. A thin tall woman might not have curves but that doesn't make her any less of a woman, and definitely doesn't make her imaginary. She's just as real as every other woman. Her body is beautiful too. Please stop comparing your body to meat and bones meant for male consumption. Stop calling her "Anorexic" if you do not like being called "Obese". Neither anorexia nor obesity is something you should be proud of. Being healthy is what's important. But ridiculing or humiliating others' bodies to feel good about yourself is plain selfish and cowardly. Fat-shaming is just another form of bullying.

However I must say, thin-shaming and fat-shaming are a world apart and one isn't the exact opposite of the other. Skinny-shaming is more like a defense mechanism that works for the fat people. It's a mode for them to lash out at people who try to oppress them because of their body type. Who wouldn't love to give an appropriate comeback to bullies? Fat-shaming on the other hand is a crude mixture of sexism as well as fat-phobia. We live in a world that idolizes thin bodies while demonizing fat ones. A skinny woman wouldn't really have to give up her favorite food to match society's standards of beauty since she is the standard. A thin woman wouldn't have to enter a shop and leave empty handed because nothing fits her; clothes are made keeping her body type in mind. "You have put on some weight" isn't usually considered to be a compliment and seldom does a woman look too thin to wear certain clothes. Skinny-shaming is wrong but I personally do not think that it is oppressive because it's not possible to oppress people who have social power.

I have come towards the end of my blog post. Since this is a sensitive topic I would love to know what you think about this, irrespective of whether you agree or disagree. Leave a comment if you feel comfortable. If you liked it, you may give me a +1 or share it further. I'll be back next Friday. If you have suggestions for upcoming blog posts you may leave a comment.

13 Reasons Why You Must Watch Game Of Thrones Even If It's Not Your Thing

There's a reason why Game of Thrones have become the most watched and enjoyed show of HBO. Here's 13 reasons why you must watch Game of Thrones if you haven't already.

1.       Never Been Done Before

Think of all the series you can think of from different genres, and then think again. You simply won’t find another fantasy series with politics, sex, violence, mythical creatures, swordfights, varied landscapes and medieval humor stuffed in perfect proportions to leave you mesmerized and wanting more even after it gives you a complete package.

2.       Politics

Like other series (Say, House of Cards), Game of Thrones is also about politics. It’s the struggle to be the most powerful man (or woman) of Westeros by earning the Iron Throne. In a country like India, who knew that fantasy politics would be so enthralling that it could capture the minds of thousands of people!

3.       Casting

I think it’s a unanimous view that the casting for GOT is perfect. Be it Peter Dinklage as the imp, Jason Momoa as tribe leader Khal Drogo, Maisie Williams as the young bold Arya or Gwendoline Christie as the beastly Brienne, nobody else could have done the roles better justice than the ones already playing it. Even the child actors are wonderful! And I’m not talking about them being cute or witty - the characters of the children are equally complex and they portray these characters with utmost perfection.

4.       Character Complexity

Every character has something to offer to the storyline and the concept of good and bad is vague as they keep merging into each other beautifully. Someone who seems really evil at first wins our heart by some good deed soon enough whereas a seemingly harmless person might turn out to be the shrewdest of them all. Everyone has a story. Every person has reasons to do whatever they do. Everyone has flaws, nobody is perfect.

5.       Absence of Archetype

Nothing is as it seems. Tyrion, the dwarf seems like someone who will be used as a comic relief, but he turns out to be among the most complex characters who is an unusually witty man with a good conscience although a ‘whoring’ drunk. Daenerys, a weak princess is married off to a tribe king but she soon uses her situation to her advantage and ends up a leader herself and conquers vast lands and commands huge armies!

6.       Level of detail

The amount of thought given to the characters, the costumes, the topographies of the different kingdoms, the language is stupendous. A glance at any of the above is enough to let the viewers know where they are or where the characters are from. Developing the Dothraki language itself and learning it indicates how passionate the crew is and how they pay attention to the tiniest detail.

7.       Unexpectedness

This by far is the best thing about GOT. Twists get a whole new meaning in here. Just when you think you are starting to figure it out, an abrupt change completely blows you of your track. Important characters are killed abruptly at the height of their popularity. People make unexpected decisions which change the complete course of action leaving the viewers baffled.

8.       Dialogues

If you are a fan of quirky conversations, witty comebacks and riddled exchanges then GOT is for you. The wide range of accents and languages is what makes GOT so authentic, believable and every linguist’s dream come true. Tyrion’s witty tantrums and anecdotes are my personal favorites. His mocking of Joffrey and his trial speech are probably some of the best dialogues ever!

9.       Sex

Although I haven’t followed many series, I think GOT is among the most explicit ones when it comes to portraying nudity. You might say that it’s just porn, but no! The sexual scenes are so much more. Sometimes they are used to denote the relationship between two people but in here it serves mostly as an exposition scene where characters through their conversation (before, after or during sex)explain their schemes, what they are doing to whom and why.

10.   Violence

The violence, gore and tortures are not only graphic but also inventive and well executed. Be it pouring molten gold over the head, or squeezing it till it crushes, or a painful death by slow poisoning or the classic rat torture, GOT gives Violence a whole new meaning on screen and is not meant for the lily-livered.

11.   Mythical creatures

This part of the series indeed excites the child in us. Dragons are portrayed as the untamable and vicious creatures they are, and who wouldn’t love to tame a majestic dire wolf after watching GOT, not everyone is as lucky as Sophie Turner! If you are into zombies, then the white-walkers would definitely catch your attention and so will the creepy Children of the Forest. The reason why the presence of these mythical creatures is enjoyed so much is that they are not overused but just whenever necessary.

12.   Landscape

One has to agree that the audience is taken on a wonderful journey in every episode through the stunning locations in Northern Ireland, Croatia, Morocco and Iceland. The breath taking scenario is to die for and has also hiked the tourism in those regions. The landscapes selected for every shot is pure perfection.

13.   Music

There’s absolutely no doubt that Ramin Djawadi has done a highly admirable job in composing the theme track of GOT. There’s no reason to not be in love with the drums and cello as the map unfolds the various locations the episode is going to explore. The music is captivating and addictive.

I know that this one has been a bit too long. But thank you for staying with me. If you like it, then you can give it a +1 right beside the heading above . Do leave a comment.

7 Tips on How To Be A Bad Blogger

It's Friday again and today I'm here with some advice which one must follow to become a bad blogger. Unfortunately, in the short while I have been blogging, I didn't have the time to test the effectiveness of every tip - but I'm fairly sure these will help:

1. Check the stats and comment section of your blog multiple times a day. If the stats are lower than your expectations (which usually is the case for new bloggers), then half the work is done right there. You lose the zeal and excitement needed to proceed.
2. Never proofread your blog before posting it. A blog post bombarded with overuse of flowery words and littered with grammatical errors and typos is the perfect concoction that drives away readers. Sprinkle it with an unclear train of thoughts and Voila!
3. Use boring titles, especially ones that do not clearly denote what your post is about. The first thing that a reader sees in your post is the title. Depending on its attractive power, the reader will decide whether to go for it or give it a miss. Hence this is one is pretty important.
4. The length of the post is also very important. Either make it so short that it gets over right after the reader starts reading. Or, make it huge so that even after five laborious minutes of reading, they realize that they are nowhere near the end.
5. Turn off the comment facility. It's your blog; what you write is up to you. Readers can just read through if they want but they must keep their precious views to themselves. You get to decide what you want to write about. Readers' input, who cares?
6. Or you could just keep the comment facility on but never reply to the suggestions people are giving. So what if a person is taking the pain to give you feed-backs on your product: you shouldn't have to deal with praises or constructive criticism.
7. Be inconsistent. That way the readers will lose track of your posts and eventually lose interest. You can always surprise them (and yourself) with blog posts out of the blue, but that's not something they'll go for if they do not know when to look forward to the next post.

So, these invaluable pieces of advice are all I have to share with my readers. I hope these are helpful if you are looking forward to becoming a bad blogger!

[N.B.: Do leave a comment. I will be back next Friday!]

Choices

The fire named "My Choice" seems to be spreading really fast and vast. It seems to be the last word in any argument these days. Even though I too feel that the video could have been implemented in a much better way, I must agree now, any publicity is good publicity. But there are certain things about people's approach to the Vogue empowerment video which just does not seem right:

1. People have been taking this video very literally. Instead of pondering on the message which the video tries to convey, all they are doing is adding "My Choice" to the end of every sentence emanating from their mouths.
2. It seems to me like all the men and women against this video definitely agree to one point: if a woman is given the freedom to choose whether to have sex out of marriage or not, she definitely will!
3. For God's sake, neither Deepika Padukone nor Homi Adajania is encouraging adultery; they have just tried to uphold a woman's freedom to make her own decision. Period!
4. Every person has a story; often people have to make tough decisions which do not make any sense to others. So you may judge a woman for the choices she make as much as you want, but do not expect them to give your blabbering a patient hearing.
5. A person doing the right things by choice is stronger than a person doing the same things, but only because society expects them to do so. Obviously, whereas one is blindly following social norms, the other is making her own decisions.
6. I think My Choice also asks its viewers to stop judging a person's character based on their appearance. Firstly, appearances can be deceptive. Secondly, it's not anybody else's business.
7. In the video the choices talked about affect only one person directly, the one who's making the choice. But since people are connected, hence these choices are bound to have their repercussions on others, although indirectly.
8. No! A rapist can't just rape or a murderer can't just murder and say "My Choice" - firstly these are heinous crimes punishable by law. Secondly when you rape or murder you are directly harming others.
9. Cheaters will cheat no matter what. But if I can't hold my husband's affection, may be somewhere down the line I do share some of the blame.
10. Of course one can dress the way they want or not dress at all, it's their choice. But if some women think it's fine to show their cleavage, then they shouldn't complain if they catch a glimpse of a man's butt crack!

Freedom Of Choice

A lot of hue and cry has been going on for a while ever since the release of Vogue Empowerment’s “My Choice” directed by Homi Adajania, starring Deepika Padukone. Apparently a lot of people are not comfortable with “Deepika’s choices”. Without delving in deeper into the message conveyed by the video, people have been critiquing it in every possible platform they can, doing exactly what the video asks them not to.

What you wear is your choice, what I wear is mine, what Deepika wears is her choice to make and nobody has the right to dump their choices on others. What I do with my life is up to me; it’s my choice – a sane informed decision I make by using my logical reasoning and common senses. If you do not agree with me, you do not have to follow me! You do not have to follow anyone; make your own rules. What I do with my body, how I perceive my life, is up to me. I get to decide if I want to maintain my curves or work out to get a toned body. It’s my choice whether I want to get married or not. I get to decide who I am going to have sex with, not the society. I am not a piece of furniture or anybody’s pet dog that can be named and personalized according to my owner’s wishes. I am free to live my life the way I want. If you love me, then have faith in my loyalty towards you, because if you were not my choice, I wouldn’t be with you in the first place.

“To have sex out of marriage” seems to be the transcript causing the greatest disturbance. I don’t think Deepika endorses or supports adultery, most people don’t. It’s just an available option in a multiple choice question that most faithful people will choose not to choose. Every day when I step out of home, I have the option to dress or remain naked; obviously I choose to dress because belonging to a civilized world I can’t imagine otherwise. My choices should satisfy me before satisfying others. Even today there are hundreds of women who dress according to the regulations of their families, thousands who marry only because their families want them to get married, give birth because society expects them to do so. Given an alternative, most women will still choose to dress the same way, marry the same person and bear a child, but then at least the choice will be hers. The power to choose is a person’s birth right. Taking her own decisions and extricating herself from the shackles of society is all that this video is about.

I agree that this video could have been better implemented, unless of course its aim was to start a discussion by creating controversy. Taking it literally and just considering its outward appearance without thinking twice about its true meaning only reflects the shallow nature of the “critics” who seemed to have taken the internet by storm. Let me take the decisions that will shape my life, at least I’ll be responsible for it.

For those who still haven't watched the video, click here

For A Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic

I had once read a joke which went like this:

Pessimist: It can't get any worse than this!

Optimist(very happily): Oh yes it can!

Optimism and pessimism are a world apart. If people were to be quizzed as to which approach is better, most people would agree on optimism. The truth however is that every person is different and their approach to life is different. Pessimism and optimism are just two different approaches people adopt to deal with various complex situations in life.

I believe that every person has a little of both optimism and pessimism in them, although their ratios might vary. Frankly, extreme optimists are just delusional, they seem to see the world through rose colored goggles and refuse to take them off. Extreme pessimists, on the other hand, are just sad and hopeless as they only seem to notice the dark side of any event. I believe that optimism and pessimism have their own set of pros and cons. Hence, it is important that one use it to their advantage as per the demand of a situation. Everybody wants to progress in life. In order to progress it's important to keep moving; however, making sure that you don't go backwards is equally germane. An optimist is easily motivated if her work is applauded and praised, but she usually is not good at handling criticism. A pessimist however refuses to believe that her work is perfect; to motivate her, one has to tell her where she can rectify in order to achieve perfection.

Honestly, too much of optimism gets sickly at times. Optimists are known for there farsightedness. Maybe, eventually everything works out and neatly falls into place. But what about right now? Fracturing your leg on the night before your semester exams, what can possibly be good about that? How can anything good ever come out of a punctured Tyre when you are already running late for an important meeting? Where is the silver lining behind a woman being raped and killed? It's wrong to believe that our world is the worst of all possible worlds. But believing that it's the best is plain denial. The truth is that the world won't be a better a place unless we directly start contributing to it. I am not a psychologist, hence I do not know which is correct or which is wrong. All I know is that different circumstances require different approaches and optimism and pessimism can both be used to one's advantage.

Optimism and pessimism go hand in hand. One teaches us to dream and keeps our hopes high while the other keeps us in touch with reality. One strengthens our ambition and make us determined to achieve our goals, the other prompts us to keep a plan B just in case. Optimism and pessimism are two very different and yet very effective strategies to cope with life. After all there's nothing wrong with hanging out on cloud nine, but for goodness sake, wear a parachute!

I Am Woman

With Women’s Day just around the corner, it isn't hard to imagine what a blogging feminist would blog about! Honestly, I've never celebrated Women’s Day. I mean, if there is no Men’s Day, what is the point in keeping aside a day for women; where is the equality in that? But only last year I got to know about the existence of Men’s Day – hence, now I can celebrate global femininity without feeling biased.

I have come across lots of women who are otherwise very modern but claim that they are not feminists. I have to admit, not long ago, I was one of them too; the reason behind it being my ignorance and misinterpretation of the term “feminism”. I was under the impression that a feminist is a man-hater. I mean, if there’s a global movement demanding gender equality, doesn't that prove that women are not actually at par with men? But now I know that the reason behind my immature argument was the fact that I have always considered myself deserving of equal rights and opportunities as men because of my upbringing – I couldn't imagine the idea of being discriminated on the basis of my sex. Now I know that the reason feminism exists is because women have been oppressed by men for centuries now and a joint venture is needed to bring every woman at par with their masculine counterpart.  I am a feminist and I’m definitely not a man-hater; quite the opposite in fact!

Thanks to the combined effort of countless feminists all over the world, today men and women are treated equally everywhere – well almost! In spite of this, sexism in subtle form still exists, though mostly unintentional! Whenever a woman accomplishes something great, she is called a “female achiever”, not just an “achiever”; as if her gender is a handicap which she overcame to achieve greatness. Even today to ensure their safety, women are expected to behave in such a way so as to not attract any unnecessary attention. A boy with a regular sex life is just a boy, but when a girl does the same, she is a whore. Songs with lyrics which degrade the status of women, end up becoming party anthems. Female characters are almost always described or portrayed objectively with description of every single part of her body! If a woman isn't ready to be bound by the norms of the society, she isn't called “independent”, she’s called a slut.

Women need to embrace their originality without worrying about what society has to say about them. Society will never stop judging you. Your voice, personality and principles are all you can hold onto and make use of. Every single woman is unique and beautiful. Be in love with yourself. Being selfish once in a while is fine. Follow your heart and do not let society’s opinion of you be in your way.