A thing or two about Weddings...

There is an indefinable, undeniable, un-let-go-able chemistry between girls and weddings. I’m not saying that that applies to all girls or to girls only, but as a young woman who loves weddings, I only speak for myself and those who feel the same way as I do. Indian weddings are quite different from the rest of the world and India being a subcontinent with various cultures and religions itself has its own variety. I, fortunately or unfortunately, have only attended one kind – the Bengali kind.

We Bengalis have a saying, “baaro maashe tyaro parbon” which literally translates to twelve months for thirteen celebrations which means that we have more festivals in a year than there are days. But we aren’t satisfied with just that and always look forward to “biyebari” or wedding invitations to add that extra zing to it all. Having attended quite a few weddings here are some realizations and conclusions that I have drawn:

1. Almost every maiden, whether they admit it or not, compare the wedding that they are attending, to their future ‘dream wedding’. Knowingly or unknowingly, they are making a mental note of things that they want and do not want at their own weddings.
   
    
2. The venue is one of the most important factors. If it is pretty and comfortable, then all’s well, nobody even notices it much and that (I think) is exactly what matters. The venue, the decorations, the marquee, the “mandap” are supposed to be pretty and subtle so that they serve as the backdrop to the events which will unfold. (I feel) The theme should not overpower the event or the people. However, a shabby or dirty venue is never subtle. It screams out loud and gives the people a negative vibe as soon as they enter and only gives them content for gossip.
    
   The wedding venue may be our own homes, a garden, a hall, a hotel… it could be anywhere. The creativity of the people responsible for its decoration is what really matters in order to liven it up so that it serves as the perfect background to one of the biggest events of a person’s life. How the venue originally looks or how it will look after the wedding is over is immaterial. Lights, flowers, cloth, ribbons, use anything you can get your hands on to beautify it for the event.
3. The most important part of any event, especially for sharks like me, is the food and one thing that I have learnt through experience is that it doesn’t matter if you have five items on the menu or five hundred, what matters is that the food should taste good. The variety of items will only awe or shock the people till they have tasted it. Once they start eating the food, it all comes down to the taste and that is what makes the biggest impact.
   
    
4. Planning the wedding is very important and wedding planners nowadays are angels who willingly take up the entire planning and organizational headache and allow the hosts to enjoy and relax a little more. They do know how to raise the glamour quotient of the events and how to awe the guests! However, (this is not a generalization) most wedding planners, lack the basic knowledge about specific rituals or family traditions and they sometimes end up mechanizing the whole event to such an extent that the heirlooms and customs are adversely affected.
    
5. Speaking about mechanizations – the best thing about weddings of people we are close to is the fact that we are involved in the whole process. However insignificant our contributions are, the fact that we are able to be useful at an event is what marks the difference between being an ordinary guest and being someone close to the host family. Wedding planners have a troop of employees to handle even the tiniest of job these days and that removes the fine line of difference between guests and extended families and that feeling isn’t particularly pleasing.
   
    
6. It doesn’t matter how strong the ladies on the bride’s side are; it doesn’t matter if the bride has already been living away from her family for years now; it doesn’t matter how huge a fight the bride had with an aunt or a sister… irrespective of any of these, all the ladies of the bride’s side (and sometimes the men too) will be an emotional wreck during the “bidaye” or “vidai” ceremony and they will cry puddles at the thought of the separation.
   
    
7. And finally what’s a wedding without some family drama? Organizing an event, whatever it may be, is a stressful task and it can get to even the best of people. People stress out, lose their temper, get irritated easily, behave in a mean manner and end up fighting with each other, sometimes over insignificant and sometimes over grave issues. What’s important is to make sure that we resolve these issues once the wedding is over and go back to being a functional family; after all, all hands on deck will be required for the next wedding in the family.
   
    

Every wedding is unique and beautiful and very personal to the people it revolves around. I personally feel that the best thing about weddings is that they make us believe in love. It gives us a chance to reunite with our families, extended families, friends, neighbors, colleagues and any other person one can reunite with. Most of all, it is an important occasion in the lives of the bride and the groom and being able to be a part of their celebration is indeed something to be very happy about.