Proud to be Criminal

I’ve been contemplating to write about this for a while now but as usual have been delaying it. However sometimes time passes too quickly and one realizes that some things should be done sooner than later. So here I am to talk about the ‘H’-word issue because I need to do this and it’s my basic right and duty to fight for my identity and in doing so if I can make the slightest change to society, then that’s even better!

 

‘Carnal intercourse against the order of nature’, better known as section 377 these days, was criminalized in India during the British colonial rule. The LGBT community heaved a sigh of relief when the high court struck it off as it was found violating human rights. However the victory was extremely short lived because four years later, in December 2013, the Honorable Supreme Court ruled out the High Court’s sentence and thus re-criminalized sexual relationship between consenting adults of the same gender. What’s ironic is that the LGBT community is being accepted worldwide. Even Britain have amended their laws and have given the community equal rights. Since 2007, same sex relationship have been legal in Nepal, thus making it the most open South Asian country to recognize the LGBT Rights and to give them higher standards. Yet our motherland refuses to accept us for who we are. She would rather disown us for being the bad child than being the good parent. The way India’s laws are fashioned, I would say that she is committing filicide and also encouraging honor killing of her LGBT children.

People come up with ridiculous arguments in a desperate attempt to discourage or prevent same-sex relationships (like these).  Personally I have never liked the concept of ‘coming out’ since straight people do not have to go through the unnecessary ritual of formally telling their parents that they are heterosexual! (That reminds me, check out this hilarious ‘coming out straight’ video!) In fact in most families of Kolkata, if a girl so much as even tells her parents that she is dating a boy, she is sure to be greeted with a slap followed by a wide range of emotional blackmail! Coming back to my point, I’ve never believed in the concept of ‘coming out’. I’ve always been frank about my choices whenever topics like that have come up and since in Indian household we NEVER talk about sex, my parents don’t have any inkling. Dealing with my friends, on the other hand, has been fruitful. Initially they thought it was a joke, some discouraged me, some thought I was confused etc. But eventually, I’ve been able to eradicate their homophobia and even though it’s not much, it is something to start with.

  

The sad part about all this is that any form of sexuality or relationship that ‘goes against the nature’ is openly and widely ridiculed by the Indian society. Even movies, at times, treat this as joke. Perfectly straight people act ‘homo’ as an attempt at humor. Life would be so much easier if everybody was straight or if everybody could stick to the genders assigned to them. But no matter what, it’s important that we hold our unique identities without bowing to the social pressures.

My Beloved Girlfriends

 

It’s been more than a month since I updated my last blog post but the past few weeks have been very stressful and yet enriching for me and I am glad to be back. It is said that a man is known by the company he keeps. I agree to a very large extent. I pride myself on the fact that I happen to be a close friend and in most cases also a confidant of some amazing ladies I have ever come across.

It’s not that I don’t have guy friends, because I do, but I’ll spare them the spotlight, for now. My girlfriends are my life, literally. I share every trivial detail of my monotonous life with them. My life, pretty much, revolves around these ladies. These are probably the only people who know me inside out, every dirty disgusting bit of me, and still they choose to love me for who I am. Obviously most of the time, as unique as we are, it’s difficult to have them on board with me on any particular topic but eventually, we agree that our differences is the ingredient spicing up our relationships. My luck with girl friends hasn’t always been good. I’ve lost quite a few to misunderstandings, ego crashes or plainly to the transferable jobs of their parents. But slowly my luck turned around. I’ve found stability in my life owing to these wonderful people who paint my life with shades of every possible hue. Be it love, jealousy, possessiveness, encouragement, joy, depression, tragedy, comedy or horror, I have it all right in here with my beloved girlfriends. Hence I wish to reminisce about each one of them.

To the girlfriend with whom I have had a lot of ‘firsts’, I wish to say thank you for making me take pleasure in the little joys of life which wouldn’t have existed had you not shown me how. To the girlfriend who literally proposed me to be her best friend forever, I wish to say that I love you even when I hate you and you are the only sane thing in my life, which is almost an oxymoron because you are insane. To my first girlfriend in college I wish to say that your crazy ideas make you the most unstable and dangerous person to be around. Yet, I would prefer being demolished to the ground rather than not being around you and your infectious smile. To the girlfriend with whom every moment is a karaoke I want to say that if fate permits I would love to sing with you every single day and be there for you whenever you need me (peace ho, all in good humor) so that you can also make sure that I don’t stray from the right path. To the girlfriend who hugs me at least once every single time we meet, I promise you I’ll try my best to keep up this tradition even when I’m old; all we’ll need is for the Universe to make our paths cross again and again. To my Sunday evening girlfriend with whom I entered the world of boy-browsing, I wish to thank you for always being there, ready with an open mind and for saying the perfect things that I needed to hear.

The last paragraph got too long so I’ll just randomly break it here. To the girlfriend who makes me go ROFL even when I’m planning to shed buckets of tears - how do you do that? Teach me so I can be of some service to you when you need me. To the girlfriend who is submerged neck deep in all kinds of worldly theories and who has either a surreal or a zodiacal explanation for every damn thing that happens, I wish I were like you - so passionate, so encouraging, so confused and yet such a believer. To the girlfriend who is a dream-come-true for every orthodox Bengali parent, I wish to say that I’ll never introduce you to my parents, because if I do, then they might disown me and adopt the soft-spoken, good-natured, studious you. But I want to thank you for believing in me even though I have let you down time and again. To the overqualified girlfriend who has a habit of slapping people, I want to say that I feel lucky to even know someone as strong, beautiful, bold and quirky as you. To the girlfriend who I have met for roughly two hundred days during high school and who have played a crucial part in my life ever since, I wish to thank you for staying with me even when you were miles apart in a different state. 

Honestly, I didn’t realize that I had this many girlfriends till I started writing this. To all those girlfriends who have accidentally been left out, I wish to apologize in advance. Also to those girlfriends who have been left out intentionally, it’s just that I’m not sure about how to put my feelings into words and I know you understand. But in general, I’m proud of the company I keep and my girlfriends define my fabulous taste in people.